Straight men have a gay complex

Most straight men have a complex. Not the small penis complex or the ‘it happens to every guy complex’; they have a gay complex. There are certain gay male stereotypes and assumptions that my gay male friend, we will call him Bruce, and I intend to explain and prove false.

Disclosure statement: stereotypes apply to a select group of people in every culture. For example, not all men love sports. While it is common to find men on the couch during football season, not all men enjoy it.  Bruce and I intend to hash out a few assumptions made by straight men about gay men.

The topic tickled my fancy when I realized a lot of the straight men around me were so worried about gay men hitting on them. The first stereotype: just because a man is gay means he will hit on you or want to sleep with you even though you’re straight. Bruce claims this rumor as completely false. “Don’t flatter yourself. You probably aren’t as hot as you think,” said Bruce. Just because he may prefer to have sex with men does not mean he is interested in having sex with you, simply because you have a penis. The same rule applies with straight people: just because you have a penis clearly does not mean she wants to sleep with you. Keep your homophobic thoughts to yourself and maybe realize that you are not attractive to everyone.

The next assumption is specific to the locker room situation. Straight men need not fear if a gay man is in the same locker room. “Gay men aren’t staring at your dick. I am much more focused on my appearance than your penis,” said Bruce. In my experience, I have always found that straight men are always concerned with the size of their penis, especially around other men. Bruce said, “Your straight buddy is most likely the one checking out your situation rather than the gay guy.”

The last assumption is straight men believe gay men are all flamboyant, have feminine mannerisms and talk a certain way. My question to you: have you looked back through your high school yearbook and found that at least one of the macho men you knew is gay? What about the uber-masculine guy at the gym? The point is, not all gay men act feminine and are “obviously” gay. Your buddy wearing the collared shirt, drinking a beer and watching the game may be the gay-guy next door.

Now, let’s say you are faced with a situation involving gay men in public. Bruce advises straight men to not panic and relax. “When I go to a bar, I assume everyone is straight until proven otherwise,” he Bruce. If a gay man strikes up a conversation you have two options: drop subtle hints, “My girlfriend and I… or isn’t that girl hot” usually gets the point across. Your other option is to say, “I’m straight.” Normally, gay men will back off and realize you are not interested. Straight men usually raise their voice and declare that they are straight. “No need to flip out. There is no need for violence, ‘No’ works just fine. It is obvious that the straight male is scared and has to shout his sexuality from the rooftop,” said Bruce.

If you are not completely convinced it is OK as a straight male to interact with a gay male consider this: straight women flock to gay men because they know they won’t get hit on. “Gay men are your best resource and have female friends. We also know how to appeal to women. In my experience, women would almost prefer to date a man who is OK with gay men because it exudes confidence and not insecurity,” said Bruce. Instead of fearing the gays straight men should embrace them, especially if they want an easy in to meet beautiful women.

In the end it all comes down to confidence and comfort. It is obvious if you are uncomfortable with yourself and have low self confidence when you have to proclaim everyone, including the gay guy. My boyfriend met his first gay friend when we studied abroad together in college. While the gay male occasionally made a comment toward him and talked about sex often, my boyfriend took it all in stride. He is confident in the fact that he would be taking me home that night and realized there was no need to impose his masculinity upon everyone. Trust me, his confidence was a huge turn-on.

Being confident and acceptable of people around you, including gay men, make you appear even sexier to that gorgeous blonde you have been trying to talk to. So now I ask, why not drop your complex and party with the gays? You actually may end up taking the blonde home that night.

Do you think straight men have confidence issues when it comes to gay men?

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